mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
