My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
