so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
