I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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