I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Randomize
