id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
