it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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