Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
