OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Randomize
