i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
