You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
