no. you can't hotbox the world.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
