everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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