they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
bring money and cleavage
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize