I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
