i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
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