I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
