Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
