yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
false alarm. still invincible.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
