I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
