I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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