Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
