I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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