I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
