I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
