KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm both gender and math confused
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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