wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
