Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
