Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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