My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
