apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Randomize
