so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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