Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Who wears a wallet chain?!
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
