If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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