We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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