So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
