It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
This is my gift to your gina
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
