Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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