Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
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