we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
