omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
