Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
