You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
