Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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