I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
operation harelip BJ is a go
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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