im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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