Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
