so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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