But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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