im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
