break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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