mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
