Pappa wants mamma naked
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
